Discouraged But Not Defeated

"But the Lord is faithful. He will establish you and guard you against the evil one."
2 Thessalonians 3:3

Satan has a funny way of using negativity to get under our skin. To make us forget God's faithfulness and to make us feel discouragement in areas of life where we should feel encouraged.

But, God's faithfulness is so abundant and so limitless that He never fails to gently remind me that He's got my back, that He goes before me and that He has all of this life in the palm of His hands. And for that, I am so thankful.

God kept laying these words on my heart to share. Hopefully someone else can be encouraged. Recently, I've been discouraged. Satan has found ways to use things I'm passionate about and things that I work hard on to be a source of frustration and stress. People, in their human nature have been critical and negative, resulting in my own second-guessing and questioning of my purpose. I've questioned my motives, I've questioned my ministry and I've questioned if God really has me in the right place. Let me tell you, discouragement is not fun. Feeling frustrated and angry about things you're normally excited about is from the devil. It's straight from Hell. And I knew it, and I let it get to me anyways.

And then, you know what? God gently reminded me that He is right here next to me. I selfishly prayed that I would get a chance to "prove the nay-sayers wrong" and He has given me that opportunity. As soon as the opportunity finally presented itself, Satan crept in for an instant, making me second guess myself again - Maybe I can't do this. Maybe it is a bad idea. But with determination and perseverance, I set out to achieve my goal - raise money for my God's church.

Be encouraged, dear brothers and sisters. Let me share with you how I have been. I set out to get donations for a church event. Church events are my thing. I have felt over the past few years that everything I've worked in ministry for has built up to being an "event coordinator". Among all the other things I do at church, this is by far my favorite thing. I enjoy it - yes it brings me stress - but the reward of seeing my brothers and sisters enjoy fellowship, enjoy food and evangelize and live out the gospel are things that bring me so much joy.

For this event, I have a very short window of time and getting donations is not something that is easy to do without time. But you know what - God doesn't need a lot of time, so neither do I. Let me tell you, friends. I set out over the past 3 days to solicit donations from local and national businesses. Some of which I have worked with in the past, some of which I know personally and some of which I have no prior relationship with. I've been blown away by the generosity of others. I have handed out over 30 letters and talked with so many people in person, via phone and via email that have just been so willing, so excited and so generous. I've gotten easily almost $400 worth of items donated in just 3 short days and I still have dozens of letters that I am waiting to hear back from.

People always say that God works in mysterious ways.  But to me, this is not mysterious, it's just God at work. He is good, all the time. He could have easily humbled me through this experience and taken the opportunity away, closing this door - as He has done so many times. This time, though, He humbled me by showing me grace and encouraging me through the selfless charity of others.

Satan did not defeat me this time. I'm praying that he doesn't discourage me anymore, either. So, to any of you reading this who have helped through a donation, THANK YOU! You've been the hands and feet of Jesus and you can know that God put you in my life to encourage me. I'm so thankful. Thank you for letting God use you in big ways. I'm praying for you and hope that He can encourage you, too.

Love,
The Farmers Wife

7 Habits of Highly Effective Fitness-y People

Hey! Me again.

I have had such fantastic feedback from my two most recent posts about my fit and healthy lifestyle transformation that I wanted to follow up with another little post. The most common thing I heard across the board was how difficult it is to stay focused, stay motivated and stay on track while trying to reform your eating and exercise habits. So, when reflecting on that common complaint, I have come up with a couple things that really helped it stick for me this time around. 

I can remember riding on a plane to Disney World when I was in 4th grade. My dad had a copy of 7 Habits of Highly Effective People. It intrigued me. I asked him if I could read it and I'm pretty sure for the duration of the flight I stared at the pages of words that went completely over my head and made no logical sense to my 10-year-old brain. A couple years later, I was gifted [by my parents] a copy of 7 Habits of Highly Effective Teens. I read it, but honestly couldn't tell you what a single "habit" of a highly effective teen is. BUT, when I started thinking about the things that helped me to stay on track, or be "effective", if you will, I couldn't resist using this format for my post.

1. Start Slow

I know I have said this so many times before, but I say it a lot because it is completely true. In my experience, if I drop everything unhealthy at once and try to get 2-a-day workouts in, I crash and burn in about a week. It never works. Like, ever. So, starting slow is probably one of the most important keys to success. You didn't gain all the weight overnight, and you're not going to lose it all over night, either. It takes time. Serious transformations take months, sometimes years to complete. Don't let this discourage you, but motivate you to see the end result!

2. Set Goals
Setting goals is important because it gives you something to work for. It's important to set short term and long term goals. If you have a goal weight, size or certain amount of total pounds you want to lose, that is going to be your long term goal. But in the short term set small goals for yourself like:
-working out 3 days a week for at least 30 minutes
-eating clean/unprocessed food for 6 out of 7 days
-giving up X, Y or Z for 30 days
Setting short term goals is important because it helps keep you motivated when you can check them off your list. I'm a list person, and when I see a few things crossed off, it keeps me on track to continue crossing them off!

3. Take Progress Photos
This one might seem weird, but I only have a handful of photos of myself at the very beginning. Mostly because I hated what I saw in the mirror. But now, when I go back and compare current pictures, it helps keep the motivation strong because I can literally see with my eyeballs how far I have come. No one ever has to see the photos but you - there are ways to lock up and password protect photos on your phone, I promise - but when you are able to look at the differences after 30 days, 60 days, 90, days, a year...it's incredible how your progress will actually keep you motivated to keep going. This is important too, because sometimes physical changes don't necessarily equate to pounds lost on the scale. So at times when you're discouraged because the scale hasn't budged, your progress photos will show where you've lost inches and gained muscle definition. Even if you don't plan on making comparisons for a long time, just snap a couple in the beginning. You can thank me later.

4. Keep Track
Now, in my previous posts, when talking about going slow, I included in that to not get all crazy about counting calories and tracking macros at the get-go. Because if it doesn't come easy for you, it will add to your frustration and discouragement. In the beginning, it's more about being mindful of what you eat and not so much how much you eat.

Now, that being said, I think it is very helpful to still keep track of the what you eat. There are so many tracking apps out there and even if you don't have a smart phone, My Fitness Pal can be used on your computer at their website. You can sign up for free. There is a certain level of accountability that comes along with having to keep track of all the food you eat. It will help you think twice before grabbing the bag of chips at the vending machine or the donuts in the break room. If you eat it, log it. At the end of the day you can look back  through what you ate, see what kind of macronutrient stats it created (protein, carbohydrates and fat) and get a good idea of what your diet currently consists of. This will help you make long-term changes in the future.

5. Plan Ahead
Planning ahead is another big one. It is so hard to be successful in healthy eating if you just wing it each day and stare into the fridge hoping something healthy jumps out at you. You need to be intentional in what you buy and how/when you prepare it. If you work full time, it might be helpful to prepare a few days or a week's meals at a time. But if nothing else, it helps to have a plan of what you're going to eat so you don't grab unhealthy snacks on impulse.

Planning ahead also helps when you're at a party or a function where healthy options might not be available. Depending on your level of discipline, you can pack a separate meal for yourself or go into the event knowing what you will allow yourself.
Grandma's 90th birthday? Celebrate the woman and have some dang cake.
Casual bonfire/cook out with friends? It's perfectly acceptable to show up with your own cooler of healthy foods. I promise, no one will be offended.
Company Gala for your husband's job? Probably just choose the healthiest options they have and limit your portions. Probably a slight-bit inappropriate to walk in with your Playmate cooler and Tupperware containers.

It's your call, but it always helps to have a plan!

6.  Give Yourself Grace
This is so, so, SO important. Listen, you will fail. You will eat a donut when you swore to yourself you wouldn't. You'll break down and find yourself drowning all your sorrows in gummy worms and Diet Coke.

It happens.

Your macros reset every day. Therefore, everyday is a chance to start fresh. Isn't that awesome!? Just get over it, move on and do better next time. Don't continue to wallow in your own self-pity. Don't let yourself go down a "cheat-week" path. Just forget it ever happened and move forward. There is no point in worrying about what happened yesterday, you cannot go back and change it. It's impossible. But you can decide what today will hold. So make better choices. The. End.

7. Get Yourself a "Tribe"
This is like a new thing. Having a "tribe". Your tribe is all the people who you look to for support, encouragement, and inspiration. Whether it's total strangers you've never met on Instagram or literally your BFF who wants to get fit with you. Whoever it is, get some peeps in your tribe. Find an accountability group on Facebook (hint: you can join mine here.) or start following some fitness people on Instagram. I mean, there is literally like twelve million of them - or something. For real, there are so many awesome people on IG just getting their fitness on and being all inspiring. Some of my current faves are:

@paleobailey 
@kayla_itsines
@alexajeanfitness

and of course...yours truly @farmerswife_fitlife 

It can be intimidating to start talking about being fit, because, if you're like me who still feels a little insecure about it, you'll be like "well, So-and-So knows way more than me about abs and macros so I can't put this post up - they'll think I'm a total knuckle-head" and you won't make a status update. But people, I'm telling you when you start to talk about your fitness, people get interested. And your friends come out of the woodwork about how they've been getting healthy and fit - BOOM! More peeps for your tribe!! I have reconnected with old friends in awesome ways because of my healthy lifestyle and fitness goals. It's so awesome to have someone to text and ask how their week is going or to vent because you failed and you just need a little 'pick-me-up'.

Listen, if you're super self conscious and you don't even know where to get a tribe - just invent a new IG or Facebook account and use some fake profile picture and name. Literally, no one cares. Follow a bunch of cool fitness people and start getting inspired! Before you know it, you'll want to post and share - and they may not know who the heck you are, but sharing and posting that stuff keeps you accountable. Even if it's to a bunch of strangers out in cyberspace, accountability is accountability, yo.

Alright, have I made a proper plea for a tribe? Because I think it might be the most important one - that's why I saved it for last! Having a support system is just so, so vital to your success. I personally am so blessed to have awesome people all around me to tell me how great I am doing, how much I inspire them and even those who help encourage me when I fall off track. My farmer has been my best motivator to date. He gives me compliments that help me push harder and keep working toward my goals. Having your spouse sincerely impressed with your results is one of the biggest accomplishments (at least for me!).

BUT! But, please don't do it for the compliments from others. Because that was one of my greatest weaknesses in past attempts. Working for the approval of others will get you nowhere, fast! You need to keep in mind what YOUR goals are. Set your mind on what YOU want for YOURSELF and no one else. It's then, and only then, that you'll find your greatest success.

Love yourself, dear friend. Love yourself! Self-love is the key to your success.

So, before you start these 7 Habits of Highly Effective Fitness-y People, stop and re-evaluate why you are doing this and what your end goal is. Keep your eyes on the prize and don't get distracted by the nay-sayers.

Good night, beautiful.

from the farm,

-The Farmer's Fit Wife
@farmerswife_fitlife

Inside Out: My Transformation, Part 2

Well, as promised, here is Part 2 of my transformation. It's funny because I had wanted to blog about this whole thing real-time, as it was happening (like, as in the past 2 years) but I just didn't know enough to feel confident to give advice to other people....I just knew what was working for me (and quite honestly, I still don't know enough to be considered "qualified" to give advice on this matter). But I'm glad I waited until now, because rather than have broken pieces that at first seemed to be mismatched, I can stand back now and see the whole picture and it all came together, and it makes sense.

After a solid 6 months of reforming the way I ate by cutting out processed foods, sugar (natural and artificial) and focusing on eating clean, nutrient-dense foods, I was feeling great. But I wasn't getting where I wanted with my weight and so I added regular exercise. That was helping a little bit, but slowly I was starting to realize that it wasn't only what I ate, but also how much I ate. Up until last summer (2015) I had it in my head that I didn't need to count calories and I didn't need to keep track of how much I was eating, so long as the food I was eating was whole and clean. To a certain extent, I still feel that way and I will never restrict myself food if I am hungry and "out of calories" - if I am hungry, I eat. I have not wanted, nor do I ever want to have that kind of unhealthy relationship with food. That being said, I try very hard not to emotionally eat, because that is just as unhealthy as restricting caloric intake. But, I digress - unhealthy relationships with food is seriously at least one post on it's own, and I'm sure the blogosphere is full of them. So anyways...

I have a couple friends and family members who have had wild success using a program called 21-day Fix, and it had me intrigued. However, my whole point in this endeavor was to do it myself without the programs and the expensive gadgets and gizmos and workout plans, etc. So I started reading. I used Pinterest and Google and all the informations available on the internets everywhere and learned as much as I could about 21-day Fix without actually buying the program.

And I feel like I need to add a disclaimer here: I have nothing against the 21-day Fix program, in fact, of all the MLM companies out there, I personally think Beachbody is the only one I could actually get behind. I won't, because I do not support MLM anything (again, another post for another day) but I just want to make it clear that I am not here to bash any programs or discount them, because as I mentioned before, I have seen the results in friends and family first hand. If you are dedicated and stick to their plans, IT DOES WORK! But, I am also here to tell you that I am living, breathing proof that you don't need to invest hundreds of dollars into a program to get the same type of results.

You can absolutely do it yourself. You need a little bit of time to plan your meals and a little bit of research to find workouts that will work for you. But, I read and pinned and printed and planned and I geared up for what I simply called, "21-days". Listen, I personally know 4 Beachbody coaches and I didn't even want to insult them by asking them questions and expecting answers for free. I have more respect for business people than that, I don't let customers wash their clothes for free at my laundromat, so I would never expect them to give me advice about a program that I had no intention of buying for free, either.

The general idea here is that for 21 days I dedicated myself to perfectly clean eating (no cheat meals, processed foods or sugars at all) in certain portion sizes and to complete at least a 30 minute workout once a day. So  that is what I did. I did not keep stats, other than my weight. In hindsight, I wished I had taken measurements, but oh well...ya live, ya learn (well, not really because I still don't take measurements). I lost 7 lbs in 21 days and about a week after completing my first round, I started another. This, for me, and I think for anyone is such a great way to get your foot in the door. Who can't commit to something for a mere 3 weeks? If you just sit down and think it through and have it all planned out, you really can't go wrong!

In all my research and studying about the 21 day fix (which, btw, Pinterest has TONS of 21DF recipes, tips and tricks - I even have a board dedicated to stuff I used for my 21 days, check it out here: 21 Days) I kept seeing/hearing this term "MACROS". And I was all like, what the....?? I tried reading more about macros and my brain would just get confused. I'm really not a smart sciencey person, so anytime people try to explain things using science, I get completely overwhelmed and my brain basically turns to mush. So, I took a break from trying to figure out macros and I just kind of put it in the back of my brain for later. I did use an app to help me keep track of calories, though...which eventually kind of helped me figure out macros. I started using an app called Lose It! - it's free and worked pretty well. Turns out, though that I should have listened to my bro-in-law all along and just started with My Fitness Pal, it's pretty much the bees knees.

As it turns out, if I wanted to really shed the pounds, I needed to watch what foods I was eating, and how much I was eating, exercise regularly and drink lots of water. That's the non-secret secret, friends. If you want to lose weight and keep it off, you need to eat well, exercise, drink water and repeat, for eternity. Haha, that sounds so simple, doesn't it!? But when you start to see and feel results, you will not want to stop. I promise. Getting started is the hardest part!

And so that brings us to 2016. I had wanted so much more for myself in 2015, but what is most important is that I got started. And now I feel unstoppable. This whole thing started with a non-new-years-resolution-resolution. I make changes on December 15th each year. My birthday is December 14th and I always give myself a good 2-week "it's my birthday" celebration where I eat and drink and buy anything I want, and on December 15th I generally create my "resolutions" for the coming year. This year, was different in-that I had already come so far, but not different because I still resolved to be a better version of myself. I resolved to keep going on this journey and to not stop.

A big one was increasing my water intake this year. I started by just carrying around a gallon jug with me and drinking it whenever and wherever. That way I knew how much I was drinking. These days, I just carry a 20 oz refillable bottle around with me and be sure to get 5-6 of them in a day. I also started BBG in February. Bikini Body Guide is an eBook or an app by Kayla Itsines. Now, I know what you're thinking..."but you said you didn't do this with any fancy programs or buying anything, blah blah blah"  and yes, you're correct. But I was able to get my hands on a copy of Kayla's first eBook for free. And I mean, if you've ever seen the before and after photos of the girls who do her program, you would do it too if you got it for free. And if you're not already following @kayla_itsines on Instagram, you need to...like 10 minutes ago. I'll wait......are you following her yet?

Kayla's workouts are hard, but totally do-able. You can modify if you need to and they were the perfect bridge to get me into a higher intensity workout. There is very little equipment needed to do the BBG workouts and I did a lot of improvising. I don't own a weight bench, so I used coffee tables or chairs. I don't have a medicine ball, but I have a kettle bell so I used that. I joined a Facebook BBG accountability group which was awesome for support or ideas on how to modify exercises when having limited equipment. I completed all 12 weeks of BBG by May of this year and I have started and re-started a few times, but haven't been able to finish my second round yet.

February 2016 >> July 2016

I took the photo on the left on my first day of BBG. It's hard to see because the lighting sucks in my house, but I have way more muscle definition everywhere. BBG helped me gain so much strength and helped me finally do things like a proper push up. I cannot say enough good things about BBG, Kayla is an  awesome role model and I'm thankful that the world of Instagram introduced me to all the wonderful that is BBG and the BBG Community. 

Well, that about wraps it up - I am currently working on completing a program called body beast (also by beach body) that I borrowed from a dear friend and brotha-from-anotha-motha. I am almost done with week 4  of 12 and y'all, Sagi Kalev is not joking around. I still do Kayla workouts here and there, but I have been focusing on training with heavier weights and building more lean muscle mass. 

I have finally figured out how macros work for me, but again, the sciencey stuff. I don't think I could explain them well enough, but if you want me to try, you can email me at spielman6125@gmail.com and I for reals would love to tell you what I think I know. And I'll just close with a couple quick words about what kind of "equipment" I use. 

There it is, in all it's glory. My "equipment"

I haven't really had to invest much into this kind of stuff because Sworkit and BBG didn't really require a whole lot and the things it did require, I could improvise with things I had on hand. I asked for a kettle bell for Christmas, I found the little purple 3 lb weights at T J Maxx on clearance for like $4.99. The two rusty adjustable ones were in my basement...the farmer helped me clean them up. The silver 5 Lb dumbbells I found at a rummage sale for $2!! That was pretty exciting, because as I have come to find out, used weights go for like $1/pound. If you can find them for $0.50/pound then you have found a great deal! Finally, I just added the black and blue ones to my collection yesterday. I picked them up off craigslist for $18 (a set of 10 lb and a set of 8 lb) and I have arranged to pick up a 12 lb set on Sunday for $12. If you include the 12 lb set that I don't have yet, my total investment for these is roughly $37. Did it require patience and a little bit of savvy shopping? Yes, of course. But it all depends how bad you want it.

Well friends, this transformation has been 7 years in the making. Thanks for sticking around...if you take nothing else away from this post, please know that I honestly never thought I was capable of a transformation like this. You might feel like it's too hard, or you just can't. It's going to be hard, and there will be days when you want to quit. But I promise, if I can do this, YOU CAN DO THIS. ANYONE  can do this. You just need to start. Stop making excuses, stop putting it off. Make your health a priority and give yourself the chance you deserve to be great!

{End motivational speech}

Good luck and good night, from the farm,

The Farmer's Fit Wife

Inside Out: My Transformation, Part 1

Well hey!

Welcome to my second post of 2016...it only took me 6 months to write another. 

I started thinking about resurrecting my blog yesterday, when this popped up in my Facebook memories:Before & After - a post I proudly wrote on the heels of a little bit of weight loss back in 2011. I was 2 years postpartum and I was super excited about finally getting off the baby weight. LOL. Way to go, Ange. 

August 2009 >> August 2011

But seriously, I was so proud of being active again. I started running and basically just ate less. In hindsight, I was actually still pretty unhealthy and I was only concerned with seeing a certain number on the scale. I didn't care about being strong, I didn't even concern myself too much with having abs or muscle definition. Fast forward to 2016 and so many things have changed about how I look at my body. From what I fuel it with to how I strengthen it. I haven't cared about the number on the scale in quite some time, I eat more than I ever have and I fit in smaller sizes than every before in my adult life. Like, literally ever. 

Recently, I have been so encouraged by many friends who send me messages me DMs telling me how I "inspire them". They want to know my "secrets" and I haven't ever been more flattered. Thank you, really! I'm so happy to share my successes with others because my whole goal this entire time was to get fit and be healthy without expensive pills, shakes, exercise programs, gym memberships, etc. I wanted to prove to the world that I could, in fact, do this myself. Armed with Google, Pinterest and a few inexpensive pieces of equipment that I have literally picked up at rummage sales and even borrowed from other people, I am on my way to attaining the body and the level of health that I've always wanted. I am so excited to let you in on my not-so-secret "secrets". 

My first non-secret is that you have to want it. I mean really WANT IT. I used to want to be skinny, weigh a magical number that would put me in some "skinny" girl category. I wanted it, but I wasn't willing to put in the work, and so as it turned out, I didn't really want it, that bad. Once I made up in my mind that I was going to do this "healthy" thing, and like, really do it, it was like a switch flipped. I started slowly, with my diet and removed one unhealthy thing at a time. Once I had mastered not having X, Y or Z in my diet, I moved on to the next thing. After about 6 months (yes, it took that long) I was eating totally clean, whole, nutrient dense foods, with the occasional cheat meal here and there. The key, though is to not have too many "cheats" in the beginning. It is important to get your brain and your body weaned off of these processed-sugar-laden foods. Once the cravings stop you won't really want it, and if you do indulge occasionally, you'll be taking a lesser risk of a "relapse" or binge. 

For your reference, I started with gluten. I went gluten-free, then I cut soda and juice. Then I cut out candy and sweets (which for me weren't that big of a deal, but still needed to be addressed). Finally, I cut out any other processed foods/snacks. My biggest weakness was (and still is) potato chips and salty snacks. So that was my last thing, I let myself hang on to it for as long as I could. By the time I had cut everything else out, my body started to feel so good, that cutting those last things out wasn't really that big of a deal. And let me tell you, when I do indulge in Doritos every once in a while - they are so, so yummy. But I can stomach like 8 before I have had enough. I have found balance, and therein lies the key to your success - BALANCE. 

Once I had mastered the eating, I began slowly to add regular exercise to my daily routine. My goal at first was to exercise for anywhere from 15-30 minutes a day for 4 days a week. I used an app called Sworkit  - free on Google Play or iTunes. You can pick which area of your body you'd like to target and how long you'd like your workout to be. Pair this with your Pandora radio and you've got yourself a home gym! Have kids? You also have free weights. I would throw my kiddos on my shoulders when doing calf raises or squats for added resistance. This app was such a great way to get started. I wasn't in any shape to be doing the kind of high-intensity workouts that I do nowadays, but it was a perfect way for me to get my toes wet!

In review, if this type of lifestyle is so far from what your norm is, it's important to take things slowly. For perspective, I started my clean eating journey in December of 2014...so we're coming up on 2 years. I began adding exercise in June of 2015 and in July of 2015 I began my own version of the 21-day Fix. This is where I started to see some serious results. 

....More on that soon - I can't give you all the good stuff in one post! 

I promise it ends well - I'm almost 2 years into my journey and I look and feel better than ever. I'm so happy to know that my story has resonated with so many of my friends and helped them work toward a healthier version of themselves. 

I started a dedicated fitness Instagram account, give me a follow! @farmerswife_fitlife where I post food, progress photos and more! 

I can remember a post hoping to one day sign off as "the Farmer's Fit Wife" - and well, I'm happy to report that day has come!

Good night from Spielman Farms,

The Farmer's Fit Wife

Inside Out: My Transformation, Part 1

Well hey!

Welcome to my second post of 2016...it only took me 6 months to write another. 

I started thinking about resurrecting my blog yesterday, when this popped up in my Facebook memories:Before & After - a post I proudly wrote on the heels of a little bit of weight loss back in 2011. I was 2 years postpartum and I was super excited about finally getting off the baby weight. LOL. Way to go, Ange. 

August 2009 >> August 2011

But seriously, I was so proud of being active again. I started running and basically just ate less. In hindsight, I was actually still pretty unhealthy and I was only concerned with seeing a certain number on the scale. I didn't care about being strong, I didn't even concern myself too much with having abs or muscle definition. Fast forward to 2016 and so many things have changed about how I look at my body. From what I fuel it with to how I strengthen it. I haven't cared about the number on the scale in quite some time, I eat more than I ever have and I fit in smaller sizes than ever before in my adult life. Like, literally ever. 

Recently, I have been so encouraged by many friends who send me messages me DMs telling me how I "inspire them". They want to know my "secrets" and I haven't ever been more flattered. Thank you, really! I'm so happy to share my successes with others because my whole goal this entire time was to get fit and be healthy without expensive pills, shakes, exercise programs, gym memberships, etc. I wanted to prove to the world that I could, in fact, do this myself. Armed with Google, Pinterest and a few inexpensive pieces of equipment that I have literally picked up at rummage sales and even borrowed from other people, I am on my way to attaining the body and the level of health that I've always wanted. I am so excited to let you in on my not-so-secret "secrets". 

My first non-secret is that you have to want it. I mean really WANT IT. I used to want to be skinny, weigh a magical number that would put me in some "skinny" girl category. I wanted it, but I wasn't willing to put in the work, and so as it turned out, I didn't really want it, that bad. Once I made up in my mind that I was going to do this "healthy" thing, and like, really do it, it was like a switch flipped. I started slowly, with my diet and removed one healthy thing at a time. Once I had mastered not having X, Y or Z in my diet, I moved on to the next thing. After about 6 months (yes, it took that long) I was eating totally clean, whole, nutrient dense foods, with the occasional cheat meal here and there. The key, though is to not have too many "cheats" in the beginning. It is important to get your brain and your body weaned off of these processed-sugar-laden foods. Once the cravings stop you won't really want it, and if you do indulge occasionally, you'll be taking a lesser risk of a "relapse" or binge. 

For your reference, I started with gluten. I went gluten-free, then I cut soda and juice. Then I cut out candy and sweets (which for me weren't that big of a deal, but still needed to be addressed). Finally, I cut out any other processed foods/snacks. My biggest weakness was (and still is) potato chips and salty snacks. So that was my last thing, I let myself hang on to it for as long as I could. By the time I had cut everything else out, my body started to feel so good, that cutting those last things out wasn't really that big of a deal. And let me tell you, when I do indulge in Doritos every once in a while - they are so, so yummy. But I can stomach like 8 before I have had enough. I have found balance, and therein lies the key to your success - BALANCE. 

Once I had mastered the eating, I began slowly to add regular exercise to my daily routine. My goal at first was to exercise for anywhere from 15-30 minutes a day for 4 days a week. I used an app called Sworkit  - free on Google Play or iTunes. You can pick which area of your body you'd like to target and how long you'd like your workout to be. Pair this with your Pandora radio and you've got yourself a home gym! Have kids? You also have free weights. I would throw my kiddos on my shoulders when doing calf raises or squats for added resistance. This app was such a great way to get started. I wasn't in any shape to be doing the kind of high-intensity workouts that I do nowadays, but it was a perfect way for me to get my toes wet!

In review, if this type of lifestyle is so far from what your norm is, it's important to take things slowly. For perspective, I started my clean eating journey in December of 2014...so we're coming up on 2 years. I began adding exercise in June of 2015 and in July of 2015 I began my own version of the 21-day Fix. This is where I started to see some serious results. 

....More on that soon - I can't give you all the good stuff in one post! 

I promise it ends well - I'm almost 2 years into my journey and I look and feel better than ever. I'm so happy to know that my story has resonated with so many of my friends and helped them work toward a healthier version of themselves. 

I started a dedicated fitness Instagram account, give me a follow! @farmerswife_fitlife where I post food, progress photos and more! 

I can remember a post hoping to one day sign off as "the Farmer's Fit Wife" - and well, I'm happy to report that day has come!

Good night from Spielman Farms,

The Farmer's Fit Wife

Stress Free Dinner Time = Meal Plans For The Win!

Picture this:

You're standing at the refrigerator in your booger-crusted yoga pants and as you twirl your messy bun in your fingers, your eyes desperately scan the shelves for something that resembles ingredients for a meal. You glance at the clock behind you and your stomach drops to your knees - where, coincidentally, your toddler (mid-tantrum) clings to you, demanding treats - because its 5:00 and they're starving. Not-to-mention, your dear husband will be home in 30 minutes expecting dinner (and lets be honest, he worked hard all day and probably deserves a nice, hot meal...much less a hot wife? But, I digress). Meanwhile, your extra-chatty elementary schooler simultaneously does homework, asks you for help on said homework, watches his favorite after school show and crunches extra loudly on his Cheetos.

Its enough to drive you to the brink. And it's a scene that is all too familiar to me - and still haunts me from time to time.

Listen, I big FAT heart cooking. Like, if money were no option and budgets didn't exist, we would be eating steak and mushroom risotto paired with the best wines. Sea Scallops and cuts of exotic fish would line the shelves of my fridge and I would love every minute of dinner time. But ya'll, truth is, money is an option and budgets seriously exist, and I HATE dinner time. That is capital H- hate it!

Enter: meal plans to save the day!

A couple years ago, I got this idea that, like, if I just sat down and wrote out what we would eat each night I would know exactly what to get at the store. At the time, it helped with efficiency at the grocery store. Because, toddlers. And while it ultimately helped me get in and out of the grocery store a lot more quickly, it also dawned on me that dinner time was a lot less stressful because I had a "menu" set ahead of time. 

I had a plan, so no more panic attacks at 5:00 upon the realization that I had precisely 30 minutes to create a meal out of a can of chick peas and a pound of Turkey sausage (it was on sale, ok?). But, for real - do you know what I am talking about? The days when you just barely keep it together and then your family shows up acting like they're going to waste away to nothing if dinner doesn't magically appear in .07 seconds. I mean, they seriously expect you to feed them 3 times a day. Every. Single. Day. Real life, mom-life.

So over the years, meal planning and I have had one of those on-again, off-again relationships. I would go two months straight and feel like I was totally rocking this motherhood-stay-at-home-wifey thing. Then, I would skip like 3 months and once again be driven to the absolute brink of insanity. Dinner time would be, yet again, filled with my attention being split a million different ways, the pantry was never stocked with the proper ingredients - due to a lack of planning and inefficiency at the store - and you know the old saying, "when mama ain't happy, ain't nobody happy". Dinner time was miserable.

Let's be honest, don't we all have this picture in our minds of dinner time being this happy family bonding time where we all sit around with smiling faces and talk about how uniquely challenging and exciting our days were? We all sit down to piping hot food, everyone eats every-last-drop of all the components of the meal - meat, complex starches and nutrition-packed green veggies? I mean, that is how dinner is supposed to be, right? 

Instead, when I don't have a plan in place, I morph into this mom-ster of epic proportions, attempting to assemble ingredients, prep them and cook them while yelling at my kids to sit down and be quiet, or get off my leg, or denying them the attention they request, the help they need, the snacks they demand, and the list goes on...If my husband happens to be around while all this is happening, he's seeing a side of me that I'm not proud of. Maybe I'm alone when I admit that dinner time has had the tendency to bring out the absolute worst in me, or maybe you can completely relate to everything I am saying. In any case, can we all just agree that life is easier when you have a plan? 

Once I really got on the healthy-eats band wagon - and I mean really got on, after having fallen off so many times I can't even count anymore - meal planning became a real necessity to staying on track. For me, if my meals are planned and partially prepped, I am about 100x more likely to actually eat healthy and nutritious foods, not just talk about it like a far-off, distant goal. Oh, and I'm not a mom-ster at dinner time. 

Meal planning [not-to-mention consistency] has done wonders for me. After I got the hang of making plans and doing the shopping and creating a menu, I began adding small preparatory elements to my plan. Menu plans helped cut down on the likelihood of forgetting an ingredient and eliminated the scrambled search for a last-minute dinner idea, but prepping the food partially takes meal planning to a whole new level. Having things like the protein or starch already prepared - only needing to be reheated at meal time - made life infinitely easier. It cut my actual cooking time down considerably and I could - even on a totally crazy day - have dinner on the table in less than 30 minutes. Mom-win!

Recently - ok this morning - I was asked to talk to a group of my mom friends at my church's mom's group about how I go about planning and prepping meals. The truth is, this is going to be different for every family. Based on your budget, based on your tastes and based on your schedule. So what I do may not work for your family, but hopefully there are principles that you can draw conclusions from and formulate a plan that will work for you. In preparation for this talk, I penned a short twenty-something page book about my process in planning including a sample menu and all the associated recipes. You can download it on Google Play or iTunes for $2.99.....just kidding, you can grab it off my Google Drive for free. Just don't judge me too hard, I didn't really proof read it, and I copied and pasted recipes from Pinterest. It's far from publication worthy, but maybe it'll offer something to spark your inspiration. 

Sorry this post is more like telling a weird story and not really like teaching you how to meal plan. But luckily you have that handy link up there that you can use for future reference - you know, when you have a few moments for some light reading. Hopefully this will help inspire you! Please ask me questions, I am glad to help any way that I can. Meal prep can be as simple or as complicated as you make it and anyone can do it. I promise. Even if you serve a combo of frozen pizza, grilled cheese, macaroni and hot dogs at dinner (no judgement here! We've all had those weeks) - having them written down so you know what is dinner for each day it will take some of the guess-work out of your meal time. Guess-work = stress, so anytime you can eliminate stress, that's a win in my book! 

Here's to stress-free meal times! 

Plan some meals - let me know how they go and share your recipes! 

-The Farmer's Wife

PS - coming soon: FREEZER MEAL SWAP. stay tuned!

@farmerswife_fitlife: the year in review

https://www.instagram.com/farmerswife_fitlife/

Like everyone, there are things in 2015 that I did well, others I could have done better and still other things that I didn't do at all (that I probably should have, like clean daily. But, ew.) While reflecting on the things I did well this year, one of them was that I finally got around to getting my butt in shape. That is one of the things, though, that also happens to fall into the "could have done it better" category. But, that's why there's 2016. I have learned so much about my body, how I lose and gain weight and what things work for me. The secret to losing weight is actually not a secret at all. It's one of those things we all know deep down, but just keep searching and hoping that there really is some miracle fix - a pill or a shake or machine that will make us fit and trim and healthy in the blink of an eye. The truth is, it takes exercise, dedication to a healthy, whole, and clean diet and a little bit of self-control (which I'm still working on, and probably always will be. Because, pizza.)

I'm totally excited for 2016. I'm armed with the tools I've acquired, the knowledge I've retained and the determination to finish/keep going. Trust me when I tell you, getting started is the hardest part.

When I started, I was determined to do this myself. I wanted to cook my own food, educate myself, find my own workouts. That being said, I think there are LOTS and LOTS of great, noteworthy programs available if you don't have that kind of time. Beach Body has done wonders for lots of fit people I know. I follow loads of girls on Instagram that are BBG (Bikini Body Guide - Kayla Itsines) followers and have had amazing results. Wild Tree, Trim Healthy Mama - great food/diet guide programs. For me, though, these programs offered things I felt I could acquire on my own. I was - and still am - determined to do this myself with some handy (free) tools I like to call Google and Pinterest. Literally, that's all I used to get started. 

Here's a little play-by-play:

December 2015

I decided once and for all that I needed to change. At 172 lbs I was the heaviest I'd ever been (aside from the whopping 224 lbs I was when I delivered my first born - I gained 70 (SEVENTY!) lbs). I was 18 months post partum (with my second - and final - born) and I couldn't get by with the baby weight excuse anymore. I truly desired a change. So I started thinking about why I had dieted in the past and what methods I used and why I constantly failed at being "healthy". When I began, it was less about losing weight and more about how I felt. Then, once I felt better, I decided it was time to shed some pounds. 

I started slow. And this is the key. In the past, I had dropped all the junk food and soda and fast food all at once. Cold turkey. That's where I went wrong. This time I took it one thing at a time. My advice to anyone who wants to change their eating habits is to figure out what you eat that is probably causing you problems. For me it was bread and starch - I LOVE bread. I LOVE potatoes. I LOVE chips and fries. So I started with gluten. I went a good 6 month stretch in 2014 gluten free and I felt fantastic. But, bread. I just thought I couldn't do it. So I tried again and I've been (mostly) gluten free for over a year now. Not only does my gut feel better, but I ditched my horrible sciatic nerve pain as well! I didn't even know that would go away, that was just an added bonus. My approach to gluten free is simple, if it has gluten, I don't eat it. I don't eat "gluten free" bread or "gluten free" cookies, I just don't eat bread and cookies. 

Now, that might sound extreme - but this is about what worked for ME. You have to figure out what's going to work for you YOU. The thing is, I can still have fries. So I allowed myself to have fries every once in a while - so I wasn't totally depriving myself of the things I love. When I had a burger,  I would wrap it in lettuce. I'm not a big fan of sandwiches so I'd have salads for lunch. Gluten freedom helped me cut out a lot of the processed foods automatically because they use wheat to make a lot of flavorings for chips and such - Pringles, for instance...even though they're "potato" chips- they're not gluten free. Ew. I don't even want to know why....which brings me to my next point.

As I started to really get into the whole gluten free kick, I did a lot more reading about what our food is made from and how it's processed. There are hidden names for gluten so I started reading about what ingredients gluten hides in. Now, listen, I don't have a medical problem related to gluten. I'm not going to have an allergic reaction to gluten if I eat it. I'm not trying to take those things lightly, either. That being said, I would consider myself to have a mild sensitivity to gluten. Because I do feel the affects of eating bread or pizza from time to time. But they generally last 12-24 hours and then I'm fine. Honestly, I think the whole world would be better off without gluten. Give it 30 days, 60 days if you're really brave. You'll feel a world of difference.

As I continued investigating how our foods are made and processed it became easier for me to ditch the things I once loved. Things I continued to slowly give up over this time period included soda, juice and basically any beverage other than water or almond milk. Almost all grains besides oats and brown rice and occasionally corn, dairy. Each thing took weeks, sometimes months to completely cut out. I tried not to eliminate another thing until I had mastered the last. 

May 2015

I decided that I needed a little motivation - because while I was making great progress in my eating habits - i.e. eating lean protein and fresh fruits and veggies, being completely gluten free, and having removed most grains and dairy from my diet - some times things would sneak back in and I would always regret the gross, pit in my stomach feeling that was totally not worth a goldfish and diet coke binge. So, I opened my pantry - and this happened.

I was like, see ya, junk food. It's been real. Hashtag: ButSeriously.

BTW, that's a real picture from my Instagram when I did my purge. It felt so good! 

June 2015

So by this time of the year I had been at this whole thing for about 6 months. I was feeling good, but despite my efforts to be super healthy I hadn't lost a ton of weight. A little bit, but nothing really life-changing. Up to this point I had tried to tell myself that I didn't need to count calories, I didn't need to be concerned with how much I ate, only with what types of foods I was eating. To an extent, I was right. But, if you want to burn calories, shred fat and gain lean muscle mass, you need to set boundaries. I just read the other day that "abs are made in the kitchen". I didn't have abs yet because even though I had cut out most of my carbs, when I ate carbs like rice or beans or potatoes, I ate a lot of them. After all, I was under the assumption that counting calories wasn't necessary, as long as I was eating whole, clean, nutrient dense foods. 

The fact that the scale just didn't budge started to change my mind. So somewhere in the beginning of June I started researching the 21 Day Fix. At the time, I thought that was just some sort of fad-diet that I could just look up the rules to. Turns out it is a whole program with food containers, protein/nutrient meal supplement shakes and work out programs. The more I read, the more I became intrigued. It was something that I really wanted to try, however, my track record with purchases in this department isn't exactly stellar. I usually make the farmer shell out a whole bunch of dough and I hardly ever follow through. So...with a hefty price tag in the neighborhood of $120, I knew there was going to be no way to convince the farmer. So I had no choice but to create my own program. 

Luckily for me, Pinterest had loads of "21 Day Fix" friendly meal plans, lists of approved foods and even some insights to how to figure out your portion control for each meal. So, for 21 days I dedicated myself to eating controlled portions, packing all my snacks and meals if we went somewhere and working out once a day. For snacks I had apples and peanut butter, nuts and seeds, carrot sticks, trail mix. Lunches and dinners were usually salads or rice bowls with chicken, beans, avocados, etc. Breakfast was easy - this farm girl loves some fresh eggs, so eggs were a staple for me during these 3 weeks. 

My workouts were very simple. Generally just circuits with jumping jacks, triceps dips, push ups, crunches, and planks. These were all plans I found on Pinterest. I would try to work out for at least 20 minutes and push myself to go longer if I could. I was not tracking my heart rate or anything and I really had no idea how many calories I was burning, but for the first time in my new lifestyle's history, I was eating clean, controlling my portions and working out all at the same time. In 21 days I lost 7 lbs. That was pretty much the same amount of weight I had lost in the whole 6 months prior, in THREE WEEKS!  

Finally, after figuring out that it really did matter how much I was eating, I tried my very best to stick to the "21 days" rules I had created for myself. I continued working out [almost] every day and I added protein shakes to my daily menus. I usually try to replace one meal every day with a protein shake. Right now, my go-to shake is 2 scoops of Vanilla Creme EAS (Lean 15) + 8 oz Unsweetened Almond Milk + 1 Frozen Banana. Blend well and it tastes like an ice cream shake. Really, I promise.

I've equipped myself with more tools that help me workout better and stay on track. All while trying to keep my investments at a minimum. I purchased some inexpensive hand weights and a yoga mat at Target. I spend less than $20 on my protein powder and it lasts me quite a few weeks. I have not spent more on groceries than I did in the past. I shop at Woodman's and frequent their reduced produce section where you can buy giant bags of fresh fruits and vegetables for $0.99 each!  I still use coupons and try to purchase meat when it goes on clearance at Target and stack it with coupon and Cartwheel savings. It takes a little work, and a little luck (hitting sales/clearance) but when you shop smart, eating healthy doesn't have to break the bank!

Here's the thing. I get it. I'm a stay at home mom that has pretty much as much time as I'd like to dedicate to researching healthy food and planning grocery hauls and working out whenever I can fit it in. This is why making my own program works for me. I get it when you're working and adulting and being a mom all in the same day that it can seem next to impossible to fit these things in. I seriously get it. Working out either has to be done super early in the morning or super late at night - both of which are very daunting times of the day. Not to mention making grocery shopping enjoyable. Trying to navigate things you don't understand (maybe) - trying to find gluten free options, get the right amount of produce so that you eat it and it doesn't go wasted, finding recipes that your family will enjoy and finding the time to cook and prep meals and snacks for the days ahead. But, it's all part of living a healthy lifestyle. And that's where the noteworthy programs come in that I mentioned in the beginning. If you're not opposed to shelling out a little dough, you can purchase meal plans, portion control containers, work out programs, and even have "coaches" contact you and keep you in check. There are lots of options out there, you just have to pick one that works for you and START.

If you'd like to try it my way, in the end it comes down to how bad you want it. And it comes back to my original point - taking it one step at a time. If you start small by just eliminating one thing at a time, it won't seem so huge. You don't have to plan a week's meals, snacks and prep it all after grocery shopping for 2 hours after you put the kids to bed only to have to get up and work out for 45 minutes at 4 am because there's no other time. I think a lot of people (especially working moms) feel that way. And I agree - I wouldn't want to do it either if I had to do that, that right there sounds like a living hell. 

But if you just stop taking that snack break in the afternoon and grabbing a snickers and a pepsi from the vending machine at work. Or stop picking up the super calorie packed lattes in the morning. Pick ONE thing. You'll save money, AND you'll feel better. Stop drinking 4 sodas a day and drink 1. Replace your soda with water. Or just drink more water in addition to your soda. Switch from milk chocolate to a dark chocolate that's at least 60% cacao. Limit your fast food to once a week. Then once every 2 weeks. Then once a month. Until you don't even miss it, in fact, when you do run through a drive thru out of desperation, you'll feel so sick after you eat it that you'll swear off the stuff for a lifetime. Slow and steady wins the race, friends. You need to find out what your one thing is going to be. Mine was gluten. Then it was soda. Then it was processed/fast food.

Once you master one thing, pick another thing. After a few months (yes, this will take months) your diet will look totally different. Hopefully it will be full of lean protein, fresh fruits and vegetables and an occasional dark chocolate bar. Then, whenever you're ready, start some sort of work out regimen. Take a walk on your break. Do push ups and crunches before bed. Run when you go take the mail out to the mail box. Do something small at first, and add to it over time. Before you know it, you'll miss your workout when you skip it. And suddenly it will fit itself into you day. 

Finally, find some friends that can rally around you and encourage you. I have to say that one of the best things I have found with my healthy lifestyle is that I have reconnected with friends who live the same way and met some new friends along the way. We stay in touch and hold each other accountable and ask each other how its going. It helps so much. And, when you do start seeing results those remarks from people about how great you look will be the only fuel you need to keep going. But even before that - the changes that you see and feel will keep you going, keep you pushing yourself to the next level. It will take time, but it will be totally worth it!

Take progress pictures. Even if you never show them to anyone. It will help keep you going. There was a period of time in summer when i felt like nothing was working. I was doing all this for nothing. Then I snapped a picture of myself in my bathing suit and compared it to another of myself in the same suit just 3 weeks earlier. The difference to me was astonishing. It might be hard to see at first, and that's why taking before, during and after pictures is so critical. If for nothing else than your own motivation. Also, to show your husband and be like, "See honey - this is why we eat brown rice and boiled chicken every. single. day. Aren't you so happy now?!"

But seriously, you can do it! I did it, and I know you can too. Make 2016 your best year yet. You've got this.

Sincerely,

The Farmer's [sort of] Fit Wife

[Trying to] live a Fit Life

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@farmerswife_fitlife

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When its not "The Most Wonderful Time of the Year"

 This post is for me. Since Facebook has been doing "memories" each day - I know I am going to need this reminder in my news feed next year at this time, and the next year, and most-likely every single year to follow. Because this is just something I struggle with.

I understand that I'm in the minority when it comes to this, but I have a feeling that quite possibly there is someone out there that feels this way too. So this is also for you, dear brother or sister who has a hard time pretending that this is, in fact, "the most wonderful time of the year".

See, back in August, when everyone is all

I'm over here like

It's S U M M E R!!

Why do you need to tell me how many Fridays there are until Christmas!? Like, let's just cross that bridge when we get there, k?

It seems like it comes faster with each passing year. Fourth of July hits and it's all down hill from there. Pretty soon we're at Labor Day, school starts and then forget it. Once the school supplies get put away the Halloween decorations start and if that's not too much, like a week before Halloween even comes they're putting Christmas decorations out already! Thanksgiving is like the middle child that gets forgotten at the grocery store. Seriously.

And once Thanksgiving does come and go in a flash, it all starts. The lists and the shopping and the decorating (or lack there of, in our case) and the baking and the date planning and the scheduling family events and the school programs and don't forget the miserable cold Wisconsin weather. So driving anywhere is a nightmare. It's just so much. And selfishly, I must admit, that since my birthday falls just 11 days before Christmas I always feel like an afterthought this time of the year. I wish it didn't overwhelm me so much, but it does.

It just does.

I mean, ask the Farmer how many melt downs I've had about how much I hate December.
And it's only December 4th.

I'm not proud of myself.

I'm sure for others who can't wrap their heads around this "wonderful time of the year" it's because of missing loved ones, burnt bridges with family, lack of family - a spouse, children, parents, etc. There are many reason that people dread this season. And reflecting on just that is what has helped me change my attitude (at least start to) this year. Because I have been blessed beyond measure. I have a beautiful family, parents and in-laws whom I love, siblings to celebrate with, too many nieces and nephews to count, a beautiful home. I have my health, a car to drive, a job, plenty of money to buy all the gazillions of presents for everyone on my list. I have absolutely nothing except my own selfishness to blame my dislike for this time of the year.

I heard a song on the radio (because you know, they think it's acceptable to play Christmas music on November 1st) and the lyrics said *something like* (because my memory fails me and I can't seem to find the song online) "God show me the wonder of heaven touching earth". The kids at church are singing a song that says "But God displayed his mercy, the greatest gift of love, when we could not reach heaven, heaven came to us."

Yes, THAT.

Heaven came to us. 

And that's why this is the most wonderful time of the year.
Not because of presents, or cookies, or family, or presents.

So over the past 4 days - well, 8 days because my meltdowns generally start on or before Thanksgiving - I've been praying for God to show me the wonder of heaven touching earth. When I start to feel overwhelmed by it all, I take a breath and remember that I'm clearly not worthy of heaven, so heaven so generously came to me. In the form of a baby. The King of Heaven humbled himself, came down from his throne. "He made a way in a manger, a way to the cross". Wrap your minds around that for a second.

I know.

Mind. Blown.

Because when I think about how insignificant my anxieties are this time of year, I feel terribly guilty and selfish - which adds to my overall dislike for the season. But when I reflect on the beauty of a tiny little baby coming to this world, who would grow into a sinless man, a perfect sacrifice for my sin, I'm humbled. And I celebrate. Thank you, Jesus.

And in the end, the shopping always gets done. The gifts always get wrapped, the cookies get baked, the schedules all align and it's always a happy ending. It's getting there that has been such a challenge for me. God's power is so much more than enough, but I need to remember and rest in His strength, not my own.

In conclusion, Merry Christmas! Happy Birthday to the King! May His light shine this season - and may I remember exactly the reason for the season and not be overwhelmed by all the minor details.

Jesus is the Reason for the Season.

The Farmer's Humbled Wife

Meal Prep Monday, Recipes & Award-Winning Chili

Well hey, it's been a hot minute.

Or twelve.

But who's counting?

I've been dying to blog about food and I've actually had a few friends ask me to, but ya know. Life happens and blogging gets shoved way, way, way, wayyyyyyy down on the list of important things to do. On the list of things I wish I could do while neglecting anything resembling responsibility? First.

I sincerely wish I could get my act together and make time in my day to write more, but it would most likely be at the expense of my precious beauty sleep. And that ain't happening.

But, I digress.

So it's been like all summer and then some. Many things have happened on the farm - the Farmer and Jack got a boat and spent most of the summer hours fishing and tubing and all the fun things that come along with owning a boat. We had a garden again but it wasn't very plentiful for some reason - tons of cucumbers, a handful of tomatoes and a couple green peppers. But the orchard was quite fruitful even in its infancy. We got a couple peaches, a couple apples and a couple pears. As summer slowly fades away I'm already longing for the days of warmth and swimming and late nights out. Oh sweet summer.

I enjoy fall, don't get me wrong. The crisp air in the morning is one of my favorites - so long as it warms up to 65ish degrees during the day - I LOVE the crisp air. Fall brings with it a bunch of fun events at church - one of which is probably my very favorite event all year. The chili cook off!

This year, like every year in the past, I entered a chili. Each year I have cooked in the chili cook off I use a different recipe. I wrote about it once. I've used recipes online, I've made my own up. I've won and I've lost.

I'm not even going to go into what kind of crazy, stupid day I had the morning of this year's chili cook off - it's really quite amazing that I even decided to cook chili and even show up.

But whatever.

This year, my homemade, self-invented chili recipe started a few days before the cook off. I was at my favorite store - Woodman's - perusing the reduced produce. Every morning between 8:30-9:30 AM they put out produce that will likely spoil within a couple days. Honestly, some of it is already kind of spoiled. It's to the point where you desperately need to cook it, freeze it, can it -- something to it, like, immediately. There was an entire bag - I mean like 9 or 10 red bell peppers for $0.99! So I grabbed them - I LOVE bell peppers in everything and they're really easy to prepare ahead of time.

I cut them in half, pulled out the ribs and seeds and laid them skin-side-up on a parchment lined baking sheet. Then I put them into my 350 degree preheated oven and let them roast for a good 45ish minutes to an hour (depending on your oven temps, my oven temps tend to be slightly lesser than normal ovens) You want to get them to a soft roast where the skin starts to blister. If you've never roasted peppers before you might open the oven door and flip out because you burnt them. But it's totally fine if the skin is blistered and black. - if they're over cooked they'll turn into mush, which isn't ideal - so you want them to be soft and skin blistered.

You can also do this at a higher heat for less time. Just Google "oven roasted peppers" and there's tons of ways to do it.

When I take them out of the oven I just let them rest on the baking sheet until they are cool enough to handle. Then you can peel off the skins and place them in a bowl or on a plate or straight in a Ziploc. Then repeat the same thing but with poblano peppers. If you have two sheets you can roast them at the same time just switch racks half way in between. When I roasted the poblanos I also peeled about 2 whole heads of garlic as much as I could into individual cloves. And I quartered 4-5 shallots and threw the garlic, shallots and peppers all on the tray to roast. When the garlic comes out of the oven, the remaining layer of paper peels off pretty easily and you're left with this awesome, soft, roasted-garlic that compliments the roasted peppers so well!

After I peeled everything I threw it all in a gallon sized Ziploc and threw it in the fridge. It sat there for the next two days until I made my chili. Maybe the flavors melded together even better, maybe not. I've also roasted the peppers, onions and garlic the same day I've made the chili - so either way, just do what's easiest!

I'll spare you the nitty gritty details about browning meat and chopping onions, I'll just give you the good stuff. Behold, the recipe to my Cook-Off-Winning Chili:

Roasted Pepper Chipotle Chili

Ingredients:
1 lb Chorizo
1 lb ground beef
2 lb ground pork
4-5 poblano peppers, roasted and peeled
2-3 jalapeno peppers, roasted and peeled
3-4 red bell peppers, roasted and peeled
1 can Chiles in Adobo sauce (ribbed and seeded depending on how spicy you want it)
1-2 heads of garlic, roasted and peeled
3-4 shallots, roasted (or yellow onions work too)
2 cups beef stock
50 oz of your favorite salsa
Beans (optional)

Add the roasted peppers, chiles in adobo, roasted garlic and shallots to your blender or food processor. Blend until pureed, add just a little olive oil if it gets too thick. This should be the consistency of like tomato paste or slightly thinner. Set aside.

Brown meats and add to a stockpot, do not drain (if you're picky about grease then drain partially but the chili gets a lot of its flavor from keeping the drippings in the pot. Note that I also do not have any added salt or seasonings, so the savory flavors come from the meat's drippings.) When all meat is mixed together in the stockpot, over med-low heat, add the pureed roasted pepper mixture. Mix until the puree coats the meat well. Add the salsa and stir well. Finally, since this will be a very hearty, thick chili, add up to 2 cups of beef stock to thin it out. If you like a thinner chili, feel free to add more salsa and more beef stock. I added one 28 oz can of black beans to my chili - but beans are a preference so they're optional. Bring it up to a boil, stirring often, then let it simmer for as long as you'd like - I put mine in a roaster/crock pot and let it simmer for 3-4 hours on low, stirring occasionally.

I love this chili because I didn't use any dry seasonings. The chili was seasoned entirely from the roasted peppers, onions, garlic and with the flavors from the meats and salsa. It has a medium heat - but I would not say that it's spicy. If you'd like a completely mild chili - you can keep out the chiles in adobo and if you'd like it spicier, you can keep some of the seeds in the peppers and keep the seeds in the chiles in adobo.

These little guys pack a punch so it can help determine the spice level of your chili. I use an entire can but ribbed and seeded and I add a little of the sauce when I puree my peppers.

And that's it. I'm not sure if that seems like a lot of work or not, but it's seriously the most delicious chili I've ever had. I have made it twice now  - once for the chili cook off and once just two days ago when I did my meal prep for the week. I think one of the best things about chili is it lasts a while, freezes well and can be done in a day while you are doing other things because most of the time it's just simmering.

Speaking of meal prep, I had a crazy awesome "Meal Prep Monday" yesterday! I stopped at Woodman's after I dropped Jack off at school and picked up some reduced produce. I had a big bag of tomatoes in the fridge that needed to be prepped and I picked up 2 big bags of bell peppers and jalapenos and I had two containers of mushrooms and a zucchini that needed to be used. In all I paid less than $5 for all the produce! As soon as I got home I cut the tomatoes in half and placed them skin-side-up on a parchment lined baking sheet. I roasted them for about 30-45 minutes at 350 degrees. When they were cool enough to handle I peeled the skin off and threw them in my ninja blender. I pureed them into a smooth sauce. Jarred them up and now I have the makings of marinara sauce for dinner on Thursday. I plan on adding some Italian sausage that I have in the freezer (also purchased in the Woodman's reduced meat section for less than $2) So for around $3 I have an entire meal that will feed my family and probably yield leftovers!

The peppers I roasted and used in my chili. I did save out one and a half roasted red bell peppers and two cloves of roasted garlic and pureed them separately. I saved this puree in a small container. These are the makings of a red bell pepper cream sauce that we will be having with risotto and steak tomorrow night. I have made this grilled skirt steak in the past and I intend to make it again tomorrow with parmesan risotto and use the red bell pepper cream sauce as a garnish.

Red Bell Pepper Cream Sauce
Ingredients:
2 roasted red bell peppers
3 cloves of roasted garlic

Basic Cream Sauce:
1 tablespoons butter
1 tablespoons all purpose flour
1 cup heavy cream

Directions:
Add the roasted peppers and garlic to your blender and puree until smooth, adding a small amount of olive oil if it seems too thick. Set this mixture aside.

Prepare a basic béchamel with the butter, flour and heavy cream. Start by melting the butter in a sauce pan, add the flour and whisk until the flour is well incorporated and the flour taste has cooked off (about 1-2 minutes) slowly whisk in 1/2 of the heavy cream and whisk constantly until it begins to thicken (about 1 minute) then add the remainder of the cream and whisk until it is a smooth, creamy sauce. Then you can add the roasted pepper and garlic puree. Combine well.

This sauce is really good with seafood or chicken over pasta also. I love it with parmesan risotto!

...back to meal prep.

I used the zucchini and mushrooms to stuff peppers for tonight's dinner. I diced up the mushrooms and zucchini and sautéed them with a little onion and olive oil. I roasted whole peppers at 350 degrees for about 30 minutes - until they were soft but not totally roasted - I'm not looking for the blistered skin for these. I added the stuffing to the peppers and they are now waiting to hit the oven again to be warmed up for meal time. I had enough stuffing for 7 peppers so there are now 5 in the freezer for future meals!

Thursday's dinner will be Italian sausage marinara over spaghetti (zucchini noodles for me), but I have not yet decided on how I am going to prepare my marinara. I can update when I find a recipe for that.

As it stands, we're set to eat pretty well this week and I only spent $3 out of the grocery budget for November! I spent more than that on lunch supplies - but for the dinners that I prepared on Monday I literally only used what I had in my freezer and the $4 or $5 worth of produce I had sitting in my fridge! Now that feels like a serious accomplishment!

Here's to making this a new habit! Happy meal prepping!

From the kitchen,
The Farmer's Wife

Moments for Teaching Grace

As I've said before, I'm not much a spiritual blogger - but sometimes, things during my day will leave me broken and overwhelmed and sometimes in the midst of the brokenness and sadness I am overcome with such a grace-filled attitude that I am certain  the only explanation is the Holy Spirit.

Today, I had one of those moments.

We were at Target, of course. Jack had already put in a full day at Bible camp and I needed to get caught up on all the things on my checklist for my big church event this weekend. We started at Starbucks (as we so-often do) and the chocolate milk and vanilla bean frappuccino bought me a few precious, non-drama-filled moments perusing the glorious aisles of Target.

I took my time and the kids were being [sort-of] good. Somewhere in the middle, Jack had asked for some neon colored pencils, fresh from the fully-stocked school supply aisle. I asked him if he'd be willing to pay me back for them (they were $2.99 for 8 measly pencils) and he agreed and made it clear that he really, really wanted these pencils. He'd been good and had listened so I said he could get them. We then hit the candy aisle to buy some prizes for the event and I let him pick out a bag of candy that he would be able to share with the Farmer's softball team later in the evening.

...and then it all went down hill from there...

I'm really not sure what happened, but it was like he hit a wall. When he's over tired he gets overly emotional, he shuts down and he gets angry and naughty. He began bossing his sister around, yelling at her to get back in the cart and when I kindly asked him to stop and reassured him that I would take care of corralling princess back into the cart, he didn't let up. I mean, it was weird. For those of you that know Jack, he has the kindest heart, the sweetest disposition and is rarely upset or angry. And it got to the point where I had had enough.

As we made our final walk down the main aisle to the check out, he broke the last straw. I asked him 3 separate times to not climb in and out of the cart because his dear sister insists on copying his every move and would end up hurting herself. He continued to ignore my requests and I calmly said - "that's it, they're going back - both of them" and I set the treat and the colored pencils back on a shelf and we walked away.

His heart shattered. I immediately saw the repentance and shame in his eyes. He knew he had hurt me by not listening. I know that sweet boy and he doesn't like to disappoint me. So I'm not sure what hurt him more, the fact that he had failed me, or the fact that he didn't get his treasures. He cried, but tried to fight back the tears. He didn't put up a fight or throw a tantrum, he just sat down and silently wept to himself because he knew he was wrong. He knew that losing the treats was his fault.

I explained on the rest of the walk to the register that when we disobey there are consequences and that he had disobeyed too many times today so he wasn't going to get his treats.

And then something inside me hit me like a Mack truck.

How many times have I failed my God? Countless.

And how many times has He remained faithful, generous and loving? Countless.

I don't deserve any of God's grace, but He gives it so willingly anyways. And that was on my heart in that moment. I felt like it was such a clear way to show how much we don't deserve God's love, yet it's always there.

I passed up the party bag aisle and sent Jack down to pick out 4 party bags for me that I needed for the prizes. As he obliged, I told him I forgot one thing and I'd be right back to pick him up in that aisle. I snuck back to the shelf I had discarded his treat and pencils on and hid them under the piles of picnic supplies in my cart. We picked Jack back up in the party aisle and headed to the checkout.

AND, as luck would have it, or as God so cleverly planned, Jack needed to go to the bathroom as we approached the lanes. So he went to use the men's room and I paid for his goodies and hid them in my purse.

After I was all checked out and loaded up with all my purchases, I waited for Jack outside the restrooms. He walked out, his head still hung in sadness. I knew, that he knew he was wrong. So I asked him why those things were taken away from him.

He said "because I didn't listen."

I reminded him, though, that there's good news.

"What good news?" he asked, grumpily.

I asked him - what do we know is true when we mess up?

He knew the answer - but it took a little coaxing. "What is always true?"

"God and Jesus forgive us, all the time." He finally answered.

And I explained that since Jesus took the penalty for our sins, God could forgive us when we mess up. And since God always forgives, we need to always forgive each other. And I asked him "you know what that means?"

"You forgive me?" He said with tears in his eyes. And I nodded my head and hugged him.
He cried a very hard, sad cry with his arms wrapped tightly around me. It was a moment that I don't want to forget because I felt his repentance in his embrace and in his tears. He was truly sorry.

I continued, "God's forgiveness is a gift that we don't deserve." And I pulled the two little treats out from my bag and handed them to him. "Just like you don't really deserve these treats, neither do we deserve the grace that God gives through Jesus. But He loves us SO much that he sent Jesus in our place."

But now, we need to work on being better. We're never going to be perfect and there's no such thing as earning grace. Grace is FREE. It came at a cost - Jesus' life. The price has been paid. In full.

This might be really far fetched, but for a 6-year-old brain to try to comprehend God's never-failing, never-ending grace, I just thought I'd give it a try. I mean, really I still have a hard time wrapping my 29-year-old brain around God's love. Then I told Jack I loved him - and reminded him that the God of our Universe loves him even more than I ever could - how AWESOME is that?

On the way out to the car that we talked about how we need to work on obeying the first time and remember that since we were so wonderfully forgiven that we, too, should forgive. When someone hurts us or sins against us, we should not be mean or harsh, but show love and forgiveness.

I don't have all the answers. Some people might think I did the wrong thing by giving him the treats even though he disobeyed. But I feel like moments like this are so few and far between for me. And God spoke so clearly to my heart and so quickly (sometimes I feel like it happens after-the-fact and I think "gosh, that would have been a great way to teach him ____") that I would have regretted not acting on my instincts. I'm glad I did.

The colored pencils sit on the kitchen table awaiting a new day to be colored with. Jack decided to forgo the softball game and instead helped me with my work out. I worked out - he ate candy. I snuggled with him and talked about his day before bed and I continue to treasure every moment I have while he's this impressionable. I've read far too many blog posts lately about how kids with have their "lasts" or how fast they grow up. And the one line that rings in my mind just about every day...

"There will be a time when you put him down and don't pick him back up" 

Oh, my heart breaks to think of that day.

Tonight Jack prayed for all the people in the whole entire world to have good dreams and no nightmares. Tonight, I'm thankful for teachable moments and pray that I have more of them everyday.

God is good, all the time.

Love,
The Farmer's Wife